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May 2013
Dharma Message
By Rev. Yushi Mukojima, Resident Minister
Dharma Message
By Rev. Yushi Mukojima, Resident Minister
"WHAT DO YOU MOST DEPEND ON?"
Our son Oji turned eight months last month. He has just learned to crawl and now he moves cheerfully
throughout the house as if it were a little small for him. His crawling territory expands every day. He also tries
to put everything within reach into his mouth. So we sometimes keep him in a “fenced off” area of the room
for his own safety, but he always starts wailing because he really doesn’t like being confined. What a
naughty boy he is!
However, recently to our delight, our daughter Kurumi has taken to looking after her younger brother all
the time. If Oji tries to approach the fireplace or steps, she embraces him from the waist up and moves him.
If Oji tries to put something into his mouth, she immediately takes it away and soothes him so that he doesn’
t cry. Until a few months ago, because we had given our whole attention to Oji, Kurumi had a strong feeling
of jealousy and would cry, complaining, “Oji gets Mommy and Daddy to himself!” But now she is a very
reliable and gentle big sister. We are really grateful for such growth on her part.
Recently though, Kurumi has developed a problem. She is totally obsessed with my wife’s Kindle and
doesn’t want to put it down. At first, when on a long drive or when we wanted her to keep quiet at a
restaurant, we let her to play with the Kindle for a short while. But now she is obsessed with it and carries it
with her wherever she goes.
As you know, the Kindle is a very convenient way to enjoy the Internet, movies, reading, games, and
even learn English and Japanese. For my curious four-year-old daughter with her great desire to learn new
things, the Kindle has become indispensable. We are really worried because we feel that she is showing
symptoms of “Kindle dependence.”
Recent astounding advancements in technology like the Kindle and smart phones bring incredible
convenience to our everyday lives which nobody could have imagined even two decades ago. In both the
U.S. and Japan, it is hard to find a person who doesn’t have or want them. Some elementary schools
distribute iPads to students as a learning tool. Even my parents who are in their 70s use the Android smart
phone. Thanks to these sophisticated tools, we can enjoy a life of comfort and convenience.
But isn’t depending on technology to create an ideal world really just a big trap? What if these wonderful
tools were to suddenly disappear? I am sure that the world would be thrown into confusion, causing trouble
at work and in our everyday communications. Because they have become such an integral part of our lives,
would it be an exaggeration to say that our lives are now controlled by them? Therefore, we have to realize
that it is dangerous to depend too much on tangible things.
To illustrate this, I would like to share a meaningful story from a sutra called Zo-Agon (Miscellaneous
Agama Sutras) with you.
A long time ago, there was a rich man in a certain town who had four wives. He loved and treasured his
first wife the most among his wives. He didn’t love his second wife as much as the first, but was very
affectionate towards her. And his third wife was not treasured like his first and second wives, but was still
favored by him. But his fourth wife was always treated badly and ignored.
This man suddenly developed a serious illness. All treatments were unsuccessful and finally the time came
when he was nearing his end. Feeling the shadow of death about to befall him, the man called his first wife
to him and expressed his feelings of loneliness, saying, “I have loved and treasured you over anyone else. Will
you die with me?” But she replied coldly, “No! I can’t do that. Certainly, you loved me very much, but that’s
another matter. I will not die with you.”
The man was pained by her heartless words. He called his second wife to him and made the same
request. But she also refused, saying, “Even your first wife whom you loved the best will not follow you. How
can I die with you?”
The man felt betrayed and became very depressed. Then he asked his third wife if she would die with
him. After some thought, she apologized, “Since you wish it so much and because you have taken care of
me, I will follow you to the grave site. But this is all I can do for you. Please understand.”
The man was stunned by her reply but he decided to ask his fourth wife the same thing, knowing she
would refuse because he had always treated her badly. Although she had been hardened by his neglect,
she answered affectionately, “Yes, of course. No matter what might happen, I will never abandon you. I will
gladly follow you anywhere.”
The man was abandoned by the three wives he had loved and treated so well, and only his fourth wife
whom he had treated coldly would be by his side with her sincere heart. Not until he was on his deathbed
did the man realize the one whom he should have loved and honored all his life was his fourth wife. He felt a
deep regret at his foolishness.
Of course the four wives are a metaphor and through them Shakyamuni Buddha teaches us an
important lesson.
The first wife symbolizes our body which we always treasure. If our body says, “I am cold,” we will make it
warm. If our body says, “I want to eat something delicious,” we will feed it. And if our body says, “I feel
awful,” we will immediately go to see a doctor. This shows we love our body more than anything else. But no
matter how well we take care of it, it doesn’t follow us after our death. That which we treated so well will
remain in this world after our death as an unsightly corpse.
The second wife symbolizes wealth, power or status. We never want to let go of our precious fortunes
because it took such effort to gain them. But no matter how much we believe that money is everything in
life and no matter how much we have saved or how sincerely others may honor us, when we die, we can’t
take these things with us.
The third wife symbolizes our family and friends. Of course, family is very important to us. All of us live
dependent upon our family and friends. But when we pass away, the reality is that they will only follow us as
far as the grave site.
And finally, the fourth wife who was treated so badly symbolizes the teaching of Buddha and the mind of
Buddha.
I am sure that our priorities in life are quite as Shakyamuni Buddha says: We treasure more than we should
our body, our wealth and status, and our family. We frantically pursue them throughout our lives although
none will accompany us when we die. Yet I wonder how many people live in a way which treasures and
respects the Buddha’s great wish which is offered to each of us as true spiritual support?
If we only seek and revere finite things, we will surely lose sight of the meaning of living. If we believe that
only material possessions are life’s treasure, we are greatly mistaken. It is dangerous to depend upon the
unreliable. There is something that deserves our reverence even more in life.
Without question, our family and friends are very important. We must help and support one other. As a
father, I ought to protect my wife and kids at the risk of my own life. I try to do my best to be the one they
can lean on and I want to support them forever. Unfortunately, I am but a human being of flesh and blood,
so I am not to be relied on forever. If my family sincerely depends on me, I would be very glad. But if I were to
disappear suddenly one day, what on earth would my bereaved family do? If they depend solely upon me
as their spiritual support, they might lose their will to live and be turned adrift. How terrible this makes me feel.
Because we live in an impermanent world, our existence is fleeting, changing without resting, only to
disappear in the end just like the clouds. So if we let our loving family lean on a pillar of an illusion, when the
pillar falls, our bereaved family cannot stand up again. No matter how fiercely we want to support and
protect our loved ones, it is an undeniable fact of life that we cannot protect them forever. Therefore, if we
have loved ones whom we sincerely want to protect, while we are still alive, we must tell them about the
true spiritual support that is solid and immovable.
What is it then? It is, of course, the fourth wife–the primal vow of Amida Buddha, the Nembutsu teaching
which is intended for each one of us. In this impermanent world, each of us is embraced and protected by
Amida Buddha who supports us and will never abandon us no matter what might befall us.
Embraced in his infinite wisdom and compassion, we are awakened to how important it is to find the true
nature of our lives, to accept each other’s existence, to feel joy together, to cry together, to respect and
support one another. We should realize fully how important it is to live in this way. We should share our
precious lives with others in gratitude each moment we are alive. This is the essence of what a life led by the
Nembutsu teaching should be. Then when we meet our end, these lives will be born with the Nembutsu in
the Pure Land of Amida Buddha where we will see one another again. It is this spiritual support we must
hand down to our loved ones.
The story of the four wives shows how foolish and dangerous it is to depend too much on physical things if
in doing so we lose sight of the most important thing in life.
So which wife will you love the most? I sincerely hope that it will be the Nembutsu, filled with Amida
Buddha’s unlimited compassion.
Tonight I intend to take time with my loving daughter, so attached to her Kindle, to speak with her
about what our true spiritual support is. I hope that each of you will also take the time to reflect and
consider if you, too, rely too heavily on unreliable things. I sincerely wish that your FIRST WIFE is the Nembutsu
teaching.
In Gassho,
throughout the house as if it were a little small for him. His crawling territory expands every day. He also tries
to put everything within reach into his mouth. So we sometimes keep him in a “fenced off” area of the room
for his own safety, but he always starts wailing because he really doesn’t like being confined. What a
naughty boy he is!
However, recently to our delight, our daughter Kurumi has taken to looking after her younger brother all
the time. If Oji tries to approach the fireplace or steps, she embraces him from the waist up and moves him.
If Oji tries to put something into his mouth, she immediately takes it away and soothes him so that he doesn’
t cry. Until a few months ago, because we had given our whole attention to Oji, Kurumi had a strong feeling
of jealousy and would cry, complaining, “Oji gets Mommy and Daddy to himself!” But now she is a very
reliable and gentle big sister. We are really grateful for such growth on her part.
Recently though, Kurumi has developed a problem. She is totally obsessed with my wife’s Kindle and
doesn’t want to put it down. At first, when on a long drive or when we wanted her to keep quiet at a
restaurant, we let her to play with the Kindle for a short while. But now she is obsessed with it and carries it
with her wherever she goes.
As you know, the Kindle is a very convenient way to enjoy the Internet, movies, reading, games, and
even learn English and Japanese. For my curious four-year-old daughter with her great desire to learn new
things, the Kindle has become indispensable. We are really worried because we feel that she is showing
symptoms of “Kindle dependence.”
Recent astounding advancements in technology like the Kindle and smart phones bring incredible
convenience to our everyday lives which nobody could have imagined even two decades ago. In both the
U.S. and Japan, it is hard to find a person who doesn’t have or want them. Some elementary schools
distribute iPads to students as a learning tool. Even my parents who are in their 70s use the Android smart
phone. Thanks to these sophisticated tools, we can enjoy a life of comfort and convenience.
But isn’t depending on technology to create an ideal world really just a big trap? What if these wonderful
tools were to suddenly disappear? I am sure that the world would be thrown into confusion, causing trouble
at work and in our everyday communications. Because they have become such an integral part of our lives,
would it be an exaggeration to say that our lives are now controlled by them? Therefore, we have to realize
that it is dangerous to depend too much on tangible things.
To illustrate this, I would like to share a meaningful story from a sutra called Zo-Agon (Miscellaneous
Agama Sutras) with you.
A long time ago, there was a rich man in a certain town who had four wives. He loved and treasured his
first wife the most among his wives. He didn’t love his second wife as much as the first, but was very
affectionate towards her. And his third wife was not treasured like his first and second wives, but was still
favored by him. But his fourth wife was always treated badly and ignored.
This man suddenly developed a serious illness. All treatments were unsuccessful and finally the time came
when he was nearing his end. Feeling the shadow of death about to befall him, the man called his first wife
to him and expressed his feelings of loneliness, saying, “I have loved and treasured you over anyone else. Will
you die with me?” But she replied coldly, “No! I can’t do that. Certainly, you loved me very much, but that’s
another matter. I will not die with you.”
The man was pained by her heartless words. He called his second wife to him and made the same
request. But she also refused, saying, “Even your first wife whom you loved the best will not follow you. How
can I die with you?”
The man felt betrayed and became very depressed. Then he asked his third wife if she would die with
him. After some thought, she apologized, “Since you wish it so much and because you have taken care of
me, I will follow you to the grave site. But this is all I can do for you. Please understand.”
The man was stunned by her reply but he decided to ask his fourth wife the same thing, knowing she
would refuse because he had always treated her badly. Although she had been hardened by his neglect,
she answered affectionately, “Yes, of course. No matter what might happen, I will never abandon you. I will
gladly follow you anywhere.”
The man was abandoned by the three wives he had loved and treated so well, and only his fourth wife
whom he had treated coldly would be by his side with her sincere heart. Not until he was on his deathbed
did the man realize the one whom he should have loved and honored all his life was his fourth wife. He felt a
deep regret at his foolishness.
Of course the four wives are a metaphor and through them Shakyamuni Buddha teaches us an
important lesson.
The first wife symbolizes our body which we always treasure. If our body says, “I am cold,” we will make it
warm. If our body says, “I want to eat something delicious,” we will feed it. And if our body says, “I feel
awful,” we will immediately go to see a doctor. This shows we love our body more than anything else. But no
matter how well we take care of it, it doesn’t follow us after our death. That which we treated so well will
remain in this world after our death as an unsightly corpse.
The second wife symbolizes wealth, power or status. We never want to let go of our precious fortunes
because it took such effort to gain them. But no matter how much we believe that money is everything in
life and no matter how much we have saved or how sincerely others may honor us, when we die, we can’t
take these things with us.
The third wife symbolizes our family and friends. Of course, family is very important to us. All of us live
dependent upon our family and friends. But when we pass away, the reality is that they will only follow us as
far as the grave site.
And finally, the fourth wife who was treated so badly symbolizes the teaching of Buddha and the mind of
Buddha.
I am sure that our priorities in life are quite as Shakyamuni Buddha says: We treasure more than we should
our body, our wealth and status, and our family. We frantically pursue them throughout our lives although
none will accompany us when we die. Yet I wonder how many people live in a way which treasures and
respects the Buddha’s great wish which is offered to each of us as true spiritual support?
If we only seek and revere finite things, we will surely lose sight of the meaning of living. If we believe that
only material possessions are life’s treasure, we are greatly mistaken. It is dangerous to depend upon the
unreliable. There is something that deserves our reverence even more in life.
Without question, our family and friends are very important. We must help and support one other. As a
father, I ought to protect my wife and kids at the risk of my own life. I try to do my best to be the one they
can lean on and I want to support them forever. Unfortunately, I am but a human being of flesh and blood,
so I am not to be relied on forever. If my family sincerely depends on me, I would be very glad. But if I were to
disappear suddenly one day, what on earth would my bereaved family do? If they depend solely upon me
as their spiritual support, they might lose their will to live and be turned adrift. How terrible this makes me feel.
Because we live in an impermanent world, our existence is fleeting, changing without resting, only to
disappear in the end just like the clouds. So if we let our loving family lean on a pillar of an illusion, when the
pillar falls, our bereaved family cannot stand up again. No matter how fiercely we want to support and
protect our loved ones, it is an undeniable fact of life that we cannot protect them forever. Therefore, if we
have loved ones whom we sincerely want to protect, while we are still alive, we must tell them about the
true spiritual support that is solid and immovable.
What is it then? It is, of course, the fourth wife–the primal vow of Amida Buddha, the Nembutsu teaching
which is intended for each one of us. In this impermanent world, each of us is embraced and protected by
Amida Buddha who supports us and will never abandon us no matter what might befall us.
Embraced in his infinite wisdom and compassion, we are awakened to how important it is to find the true
nature of our lives, to accept each other’s existence, to feel joy together, to cry together, to respect and
support one another. We should realize fully how important it is to live in this way. We should share our
precious lives with others in gratitude each moment we are alive. This is the essence of what a life led by the
Nembutsu teaching should be. Then when we meet our end, these lives will be born with the Nembutsu in
the Pure Land of Amida Buddha where we will see one another again. It is this spiritual support we must
hand down to our loved ones.
The story of the four wives shows how foolish and dangerous it is to depend too much on physical things if
in doing so we lose sight of the most important thing in life.
So which wife will you love the most? I sincerely hope that it will be the Nembutsu, filled with Amida
Buddha’s unlimited compassion.
Tonight I intend to take time with my loving daughter, so attached to her Kindle, to speak with her
about what our true spiritual support is. I hope that each of you will also take the time to reflect and
consider if you, too, rely too heavily on unreliable things. I sincerely wish that your FIRST WIFE is the Nembutsu
teaching.
In Gassho,
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