- Our long hoped for first child, Kurumi, was born on August 24. The baby is a healthy girl who
weighed 7 lbs. 8 oz. and was 19.49 in. long at birth. Now that she has reached one month of age,
she sometimes responds with a smile when we speak to her. She is very cute, full of smiles and
looks really intelligent. Isn’t this how all fond parents describe their baby?
To tell the truth, when Mika became pregnant, I selfishly imagined the baby would be a boy so I
called her a boy’s name every day for a few months. Then later when we found out we would be
having a girl, I was lost in thought about the choice of the name but it was very hard for me to
switch to thinking of a girl’s name right away.
Though I am ashamed to admit I wished for a boy, my wife and I decided to name the little girl
Kurumi after much consideration. There is a word kurumi in Japanese, which means “walnut.” So
when Japanese hear the name Kurumi, they think of walnuts. But I picked two wonderful kanji
(Chinese characters) for Kurumi: kuru means “come” and mi means “truth,” so Kurumi means,
“comes from the truth” or “truth comes.” It has the same meaning as “Tathagata.”
Although Kurumi’s name has a grand meaning, we gave it to her with our wish that no matter
what happens to her, she will create a bright and wonderful life and future with the Nembutsu
through the guidance of Tathagata.
When I think back to the day the baby was born, I am very impressed by my wife giving birth to
this healthy baby though I know she has felt anxiety and loneliness here in America so far from her
parents. [
In the early morning of August 23 at about 5:30 a.m., one day before her due date, my wife’s
labor started. At that time, I was sleeping in the guest room and was having a good dream. But
when I heard Mika suddenly calling my name, I almost fell out of the bed in surprise. Although half
asleep, I hurried to her. When I looked in the room, she was having a contraction. I went into a
panic because she seemed to be giving birth to the baby right there, so we immediately left for
Mary Birch Hospital to see the doctor.
However, when we arrived, we were told Mika wasn’t ready to deliver yet. She had to walk
around the hospital ward in order to induce labor. It was very hard for me to see my wife walking
while enduring the pain. After two hours, Mika was sent to the delivery room immediately and had
labor induced because her water had broken. The contractions became so severe it was too
painful for her to even talk to me. The only the thing that I as her husband could do for her was to
help her to drink water and give her a massage. Otherwise there was nothing for me to do except
watch her attentively.
Now I realize that from the detection of her pregnancy to childbirth, Mika was filled with more
anxiety and fear than I imagined. She must have suffered a lot of stress because it was the first
pregnancy for her and the childbirth experience is different in Japan. Furthermore, her parents
with whom she is so comfortable and with whom she can discuss anything, were not by her side.
Therefore, she would cry before I could even realize why. But when I saw her stroking her belly
while speaking to the baby, I realized that pregnant women have a connection with their child that
is deep and undeniable.
Although Japan has seen tremendous changes in comparison to the old days, there are still not
many couples in which the father is present at the baby’s birth like here in the U.S. So I was not
planning to be in the birthing room at all. But when I came to realize what Mika had endured so far,
and that the only person she has to depend upon is me, I decided I had to support her…even
though I was in danger of fainting if I saw blood!
Although we were both full of anxiety during her labor, I squeezed her hand and called out to
her, “Leave everything to the doctor.” We encouraged each other by saying, “Everything will be
fine.”
Then, on August 24, 18 hours after we had first arrived at the hospital, Mika gave birth to our
bouncing baby girl at 12:43 a.m. Although labor was traumatic and exhausting, Mika, who had
sheltered and protected our unborn baby for nine long months, tearfully greeted the baby saying,
“Thank you for arriving safely.” I will never forget my wife’s first words to Kurumi. That moving
scene became the best memory of our lives together and one which we will remember forever.
Soon after, the doctor encouraged me to cut the umbilical cord. I felt really embarrassed that I
dropped the scissors because I was so nervous. But a month later, this too has become a good
memory.
Although labor took a long time, both Mika and the baby were doing fine and we were able to
go home the next day. Now the baby’s powerful cry echoes throughout the house.
Though as I mentioned earlier I had at first wished for a boy, but when we were in the birthing
room, I didn’t care if it was a boy or girl; I just wished the baby would arrive safely. I truly realized
again that wanting a boy or a girl is the parent’s wishful thinking, but that nothing is more gratifying
than the baby being born healthy.
It was a rewarding experience for me to be present during Mika’s labor because I learned
many important things through it. Seeing my wife enduring so much and overcoming her fears for
the sake of the baby, I was able to realize again that mothers are our greatest support.
Furthermore, I was aware of the life which developed from the precious moment we learned
Mika was pregnant. My wife talking tenderly to the unborn baby in her womb and Amida Buddha
who calls me seem one and the same. Even though babies are still in the womb, they are given
names and talked to by their parents who wish for their safety, and who wish for their future and
who always tell them, "Everything will be all right. So don't worry," even before they are born into
this world. I realize that I am just like little Kurumi because I am also being called by Amida Buddha
who assures me everything will be okay and who has always wished for my birth in the Pure Land.
The relationship between a baby and its parents and Amida and myself are the same.
The words of Mr. Masao Tsuduku, “Although there are 100 million mothers for 100 million
people, there are no mothers who are superior to my mother,” echo deeply in my heart. Thanks to
the huge challenge which we met together, Mika and I strengthened our bond and promised one
other we will raise Kurumi with loving care. I believe that our baby has brought us closer together.
From the time we announced my wife’s pregnancy, we have really appreciated all the Sangha
members who gave us many words of encouragement, hosted the wonderful baby showers, and
sent us oiwai and many wonderful gifts. That we are able to hold our baby safely here in America
is due entirely to your warm support and thoughtfulness. I would like to take this opportunity to
express our deep gratitude to each of you for your kindness.
We will never forget that we are able to be here together because of our family and the many
people who support and lead us. We wish to nurture Kurumi whom we have received from Amida
Buddha with loving care and the Nembutsu of gratitude. Although we are still inexperienced as
parents, please be patient and gentle with us as we try to grow along with our baby.
In Gassho,
by Rev. Yushi Mukojima
OCTOBER, 2008
ARRIVAL OF OUR FIRST BABY
ARRIVAL OF OUR FIRST BABY
| Dharma Message |